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Post subject: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 5:42 pm |
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the musical
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:13 pm Posts: 3311 Location: Culver City, CA
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Quote: Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony.YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50, and your dreams are gone....
But! wait!! ! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21,TURN 30, PUSH 40,REACH 50, and make it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that, it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's, and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers.This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3.Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's family name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10.. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. AND, ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. And, if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting '...man,what a ride! RIP dude.
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Rat-morningstar wrote: dude, this might be shocking, but the night sky isn't a piece of cloth with holes in it bird porn
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Post subject: Re: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 6:00 pm |
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The Big Cheese
Joined: Sun Mar 03, 2002 12:40 am Posts: 24699 Location: northern california
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Post subject: Re: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 6:25 pm |
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the musical
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:13 pm Posts: 3311 Location: Culver City, CA
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damn. he's still said an amazing amount of good stuff
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Rat-morningstar wrote: dude, this might be shocking, but the night sky isn't a piece of cloth with holes in it bird porn
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Post subject: Re: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 7:55 pm |
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Roaming Dumbass
Joined: Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:58 pm Posts: 1233 Location: ColoradO
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That's probably the best thing I've read in a while. Fuck textbooks. >.>
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Mio Nome e Django wrote: Waterbear wrote: Of course pepper's a chick, she's even bitchier than I am. CRITICAL BLOW!Grndslmhttr3 wrote: That's what I was wondering. 90% of my e-mails are from shit like Newegg, Golfsmith, MLB.com, other non-semen tank-related stores and shit.
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Post subject: Re: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 8:12 pm |
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Neato Fucking Mosquito
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2004 7:46 pm Posts: 4479 Location: Interzone
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Jason wrote: I feel like my whole body is having an orgasm every single second I love it so much my penis is all atingle and like oh my world of stars and magic.
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Post subject: Re: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 8:25 pm |
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not grimace
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 11:39 am Posts: 8116 Location: Indiana
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no RIP Larry Miller..???
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amsamu wrote: How do all you so called Joes know what a 3 year old can and can't do.I guess all u Joes have nothing better to do but judge other people.
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Post subject: Re: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 9:03 pm |
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Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2004 2:30 pm Posts: 8001 Location: Canada 0_o
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Knew it wasn't him, he has hidden gems in his books but he's never that sentimental.
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Funny Hat Man wrote: I awoke to an amazing blowjob only to find it was a dude... and let him finish
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Post subject: Re: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 9:23 pm |
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Heh.

Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2004 1:48 pm Posts: 6609 Location: Owens Cross Roads, AL
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 1854 presents: the 326th annual map festival
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Post subject: Re: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 4:22 am |
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Cherryclan Commander

Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:49 pm Posts: 9825
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Reminds me of something my Grandfather used to say- "I'm goin upstairs to fuck your grandmother". Well he was an honest man. He wasn't gonna lie to a little kid.
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Post subject: Re: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 4:23 am |
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not grimace
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 11:39 am Posts: 8116 Location: Indiana
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NIPPER wrote: Reminds me of something my Grandfather used to say- "I'm goin upstairs to fuck your grandmother". Well he was an honest man. He wasn't gonna lie to a little kid. 
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amsamu wrote: How do all you so called Joes know what a 3 year old can and can't do.I guess all u Joes have nothing better to do but judge other people.
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Post subject: Re: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Sat Feb 13, 2010 1:45 pm |
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I rip it hardcore like porno-flick bitches
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2007 9:43 pm Posts: 2141 Location: Connecticut
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Gr|m wrote: no RIP Larry Miller..??? Well he isn't dead, so no.
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 Midnight Meat Train
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Post subject: Re: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Tue Feb 16, 2010 9:18 pm |
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You're talking to Idiot

Joined: Sun Dec 10, 2006 9:51 pm Posts: 1865 Location: Somewhere in life
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Post subject: Re: George Carlin on Aging Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:48 am |
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not grimace
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2003 11:39 am Posts: 8116 Location: Indiana
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Grndslmhttr3 wrote: Gr|m wrote: no RIP Larry Miller..??? Well he isn't dead, so no. GOOD
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amsamu wrote: How do all you so called Joes know what a 3 year old can and can't do.I guess all u Joes have nothing better to do but judge other people.
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