Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

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Maha
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Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by Maha » Sat Aug 16, 2014 1:58 pm

Has anyone actually had this problem or know anyone who is currently trying to overcome it?

I really don't know if it's obvious or not when I speak while playing on the server but I tend to suffer from social isolation issues. The majority of my time is usually being spent either at work or at home, I have my roommate around to talk to usually but that's about it. I try to talk to people during my downtime at work but I usually just don't due to an overwhelming fear that just builds up and I end up not saying anything at all and I just seclude myself somewhere and mess with my phone.

Is this a psychological kind of issue that I can speak to a professional about or is this something I just need to overcome on my own?
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by Ian7 » Sat Aug 16, 2014 6:07 pm

Do you get along with your roommate? If so try to go* places with him/her(I think you have a female roommate). You don't necessarily have to be friends with her/his friends but you might people through them.

Are you into any kind of card games or table top games? Local shops always have tournaments where you can meet people who are also into. And most of those communities (aside from Yugioh are very friendly and welcoming).

I can't/won't comment on whether or not it is a psychological issue (failed nurse).
Last edited by Ian7 on Sat Aug 16, 2014 6:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by narwal » Sat Aug 16, 2014 6:09 pm

Comic shops are pretty cool. For once Ian had good advice and wasn't a dick!
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by Ian7 » Sat Aug 16, 2014 6:11 pm

Narwhal is just saying that cause everyone hates him, cause his jokes suck.
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Maha
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by Maha » Sat Aug 16, 2014 6:19 pm

Yeah, I get along with her fine. She's pretty much the only friend I see on a regular basis. We'd hangout more if our work schedules weren't so different. She works days while I work nights and I'm not home till 1130 PM.

As for card games and tables top games I've never really tried any before with other people. I've played Magic before but only the Steam versions. I have to really go and look to find a local game shop as living in the South there is probably a lot less than there would be in the Western states.

Though I suppose a quick Google of my area could prove to be a useful step in finding something.
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by dmitri ravinoff » Sat Aug 16, 2014 7:47 pm

Find a group for something you like! Starting off with a strong common interest makes making friends 1000% earlier

Check out meetup! you can find groups for whatever you want!

also, no matter how backward your state is, there's gotta be a subreddit for your state/city. People on my local one plan events together, etc, it's pretty neat. Or alternatively, find an online group for something you're interested in and find the local scene (e.g. /r/smashbros has a giant list of local facebook groups around the world)

I'm quite bad at making friends/approaching people myself, and I honestly think (for me!) that finding an interest group is requisite. For example, I found a local group of adults (average age= 30-50) that plays ultimate frisbee near where I live; I now play with them, even though I could easily be one of their kids. Having a common interest let me make these friends that ordinarily I would never have been able to. Or you lot, we all share common interests even though we live across the country/world and are probably very different people.

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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by Maha » Sun Aug 17, 2014 12:42 am

Though I didn't find anything to interesting on meetup! but I did get a good laugh over how many Newly Pregnant Mother groups there are.

Nothing to good on the North Carolina subreddit at the moment either, mostly just people complaining about NC being racist.

I did take a look at the smashbros links though and found some in North Carolina.
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by Django » Sun Aug 17, 2014 1:09 am

Are you in college?
Cuz you can try take some concealing with your college psychologist, try to make her refer you to one that's works outside the college though.

Like try everything that you can too, what seems to work the best is

1. Spending as much time outside WITH people that you know, it can be friends, relatives, literally anyone whos up to.
It will distract you as much as possible.

2. Go to the movies, A LOT. It doesn't matter, if its alone or with lame people like your sister, brothers, mom, etc
This works for me so much. Go to the movies atleast once every week.

3. Try exercise, imo weights are cool ,but stuff like yoga is super relaxing
or you can try doing cardio exclusively on the spinning bikes for about 1 hour while putting your favorite music on your ipod,zune, mp3whatever
(super important cause the sound of the bike constantly spinning will make you go crazier, trust me)
Only from this you will get something called the runners high, and boy it makes you feel like a billion dollars specially if you have the endurance to withstand the intensity of the bike.
It takes time for it to kick in though, like usually half an hour into it.

4. You can talk to me to vent if you want, add me on steam im israelbad. I am so not afraid of discussing anything,
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by tehENEMY » Sun Aug 17, 2014 3:07 am

North Brazilians are not to be trusted.
Going to the movies alone is weird.
People are terrible avoiding most is a good call.
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by Toxius » Sun Aug 17, 2014 3:08 am

Maha wrote:I have to really go and look to find a local game shop as living in the South there is probably a lot less than there would be in the Western states.
Actually there's a few scattered around.

Every comic shop I've been to has had a tourney area, also don't forget some local video game shops that happen to carry MTG or other such, they usually have tourney spots where games can run into the late night.

I know here the weekends run amok with midnight games of CAH, Munchkin, and Magic.



Lining up with the college thing, if you're in it-- bug the shit out of the organizations. Cram your face in their face.
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by BPM » Sun Aug 17, 2014 10:34 pm

Hey Maha. I've suffered from this way too much. It's a hard issue.

It wasn't until I moved to a new area and became a drunk where I didn't care what people thought of me. I was super social but drunk most of the time. It's why I'm no longer a regular on the server. However getting drunk and social has not solved these problems. Maybe it helped with me getting out there and meeting new people.. but it di9dn't work.

I don't know what to tell you. Keep working on it, Try to socialize. Get out to parties you hear about. Get out and have fun. It all revolves around you getting up/out.
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by Maha » Tue Aug 19, 2014 7:25 pm

No, I'm not in college so can't do much there.

But on a good note, I did go do a thing with other people like things at a game store I found. I didn't participate in the event but I talked with someone for about 30 minutes or so before running out of things to say.
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by Ikri » Wed Aug 20, 2014 12:47 pm

That sounds like progress! 30 minutes is a long time to hold someone's attention, so that's awesome. Finding a reason to get out of the house at least once each day can really help, even if you don't talk to anyone. If you have time, volunteer for something that interests you. Join a meetup group.

Even if something isn't greatly interesting to you, just somewhat, go anyway. You'll get 2 things out of it: the experience of that particular subject, and have a better idea of whether you want to learn more or absolutely do not want to learn more. This eliminates the "maybe I should have..." and "what if..." aspects when you look back on what you've done in the past. And in the future when someone brings up that they love frisbee golf, you can say, "yeah, I did that once!"
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by TempSoul » Fri Aug 22, 2014 10:58 pm

I would suggest you do a bit of soul searching in what environment you have done well and where you think you can step out your comfort zone, feel free to take a dive into new situations and figure out what is your environment.

I'm a naturally sociable person because of my upbringing but at my heart I'm super scared of socializing but with lots of different experiences and using people as crunches or fallback plans make sure I can get into scary situations and if things go wrong push that red button and run to your back-up plan/friend

also having someone who you can be honest to and talk things through with really helps, cause lots of time we are our own worse enemy and just need people to tell us that what we're thinking isn't reality. I have a therapist and a close long distant bestie to snap me out of my own mental walls
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Re: Who to talk to for Social Isolation issues?

Post by dmitri ravinoff » Sat Aug 23, 2014 1:23 am

in the same vein as what ikri and tempsoul said, try new things! Whether that be some new card game or a local frisbee/soccer/basketball pick-up game, a book club, a bar crawl, dancing, whatever, try it! You'll be exposed to new groups of people and new experiences.

here, i found some interesting meetup groups in charlotte, nc (or thereabouts):

http://www.meetup.com/Awesome-Adventure ... cial-Club/
a group intended for 20-30 year olds (which you probably are) to do new, fun things and make friends. a match made in Heaven!

http://www.meetup.com/geamclt/
a group to eat food together! nothing wrong with that

http://www.meetup.com/Urban-Adventurers/
another group to do random shit together

http://www.meetup.com/The-Easier-Hiking ... Charlotte/
a group for easy outdoorsy things. less focused on getting hella swoll and more focused on getting friends

http://www.meetup.com/Depression-Anxiety-Support/
if shit's real bad, a depression/anxiety support group
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