Would like your thoughts on what to read.

bloodcrow · Post by **bloodcrow** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:39 am

This is not a TF2 subject, per se. However, since most players are familiar with my voice by now (i'll put aside the technical problems for the time being), i thought perhaps the .j2 folk could help me with an ongoing problem i'm facing.

I'm trying to build up a body of narration samples. I want to make money off of my voice. I'm not expecting to get rich, i'm not expecting to get famous but the reality is that i have a good narration voice. And in case there's anyone out there that still thinks i'm using a voice changer, let me know what your mailing address is so that i can send you a few pennies to go buy yourself a piping hot cup of Fuck Off.

Anyway i have two problems that i'm having trouble dealing with. Numero Uno: i'm a relatively shy/ reticent person. Numero Two-O (and this is really why i'm coming to the folk of .j2 for help), i simply don't know what to read or say.

To that end, i was hoping people could send me links to things that are funny, strange and/or slightly tasteless. Nothing too graphic, mind you. I was thinking of some really bad Craigslist ads or OKCupid profiles (i met my gf via OKCupid, btw). But what do YOU think?

For your entertainment (and my inspiration): http://loureads.com/ (note: NSFW, NSFW, NSFW !!!)

thank you,
shelly (bloodcrow)

Post by **Dustrix** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:40 am

I thought you wanted books to read.

TheFlyingBearCalvary · Post by **TheFlyingBearCalvary** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:42 am

Talk to yourself alot. that's what I do. Though... people'll think you're crazy. Read anything. Read books aloud, that'll help to also build up your ability to read and speak quickly.

Post by **Dustrix** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:45 am

Read any type of book from a library to yourself or practise in front of an audience.

bloodcrow · Post by **bloodcrow** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:49 am

Dustrix wrote:I thought you wanted books to read.

Book excerpts are fine- but there are copyright laws to deal with if someone wants to push the issue. Besides, i want something to hook listeners. Humor works well to that end. Perhaps something more adult w/o being explicit.

Post by **Dustrix** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 1:51 am

Ah. I'm only 11 and I read teenager books. Not much help then.

TheFlyingBearCalvary · Post by **TheFlyingBearCalvary** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 2:05 am

Wait... you're ELEVEN?! And you played SPACE MARINE? The hell is a munchkin doing playing M rated games!?

Post by **stabbyclaus** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 2:46 am

I'll get you some stuff Bloodcrow, hook ya up.

Post by **Dustrix** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 2:48 am

M isn't that bad. It's the R16 shit that gets bad.

bloodcrow · Post by **bloodcrow** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 3:01 am

That gives me an idea. Warhammer Erotica. I mean, those Space Marines must get so very lonely. And just imagine all of the possibilities of Chaos Marine Erotica and Ork Porn. Giggity.

Muffin · Post by **Muffin** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 3:01 am

it was pleasant when hellboy read that adventure time fanfic on mumble one time

Post by **Echo** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 3:47 am

I'd laugh at you reading an erotic story from a female perspective.
Could even read the phonebook. I'd listen.

Rabidtangerine · Post by **Rabidtangerine** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:04 am

Dustrix wrote:Ah. I'm only 11 and I read teenager books. Not much help then.

Fucken saved.

Website · Post by **MasterWholigans** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 10:47 am

Dustrix wrote:Ah. I'm only 11 and I read teenager books. Not much help then.

> Location: Ikri's vagina.

HOLD THE PHONE

Post by **knoid** » Wed Jul 04, 2012 11:37 am

Start here: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

Something along the lines of the Pontiac Grand Am or the 5 PBR's post should do nicely.

Also if you know Waterbear, see if she can't link you to some bizarre fan-fiction. At her behest I ended up reading a a couple of hilariously bad stories to the server - a Harry Potter gay fanfic (Draco and Harry get it on in a bathroom I think), and a gangbang story written from the girl's point of view (I put on a gruff macho voice for comic effect). Thankfully I don't think anyone recorded either one.

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