Steam Mobile App iOS and Android

[Hellboy]

I have an invite and would be willing to give it to someone, provided you meet my short, reasonable list of guidelines.

!*~Guidelines:
----------------------------------------

1. Recipient needs to have been a member of joe.to forums for at least two years. If you contact me asking for the invite and your join date isn't at least two years prior, I will block you and notify the admins, requesting your immediate termination. If you request the invite and your join date was exactly two years ago to the day, but your join time has not yet surpassed the current day's time, I will block you and notify the admins, requesting your immediate termination from the forums.

2. Recipient needs to have accumulated a post count of 4,230 or higher, with a majority of those posts being in mature conversation, so I know that you're mature enough to accept this blessing that I worked so hard to achieve. If you fail to meet the post limit, or you have posted at least once in immature conversation, I will burn every single computer I own that I have accessed Steam on in an act of defiance, so that no one will get the invitation.

3. Recipient needs to have already been on my friends list prior to my posting this. If you sent me a friend invitation in the time that I was writing this post, but I failed to accept it as I was busy setting these guidelines, you will still be exempt from receiving the invitation.

4.1. Recipient needs to have put the Steam Mobile Beta Access in their wishlist with the intention of buying it, having never once expected someone would trade/gift it to them. In other words, although you may be reading these guidelines right now, and later make a request for my invitation, you should previously have had the full intention of buying the Steam Mobile Beta Access for yourself, only to be sidelined when I do bestow it upon you. If I receive a PM with the excuse that one cannot purchase access to the Steam Mobile Beta, let alone put it in their wishlist, I will notify the admins, requesting your immediate termination from the forums. I elaborate on this further in guideline 4.2.

----4.2. If I suspect that your intentions from the start were to play with my emotions in order to get my precious invitation, as opposed to expressing genuine surprise when I do, in fact, gift/trade it to you, I will instead gift you the game "Bad Rats: the Rats' Revenge," and notify the admins, requesting that they monitor your progress through the game until you have attained all of the achievements and become a "Bad Rats' King." If you play any other game(s) aside from "Bad Rats: the Rats' Revenge" in the time it takes you to attain all of its achievements, I will notify the admins, requesting your immediate removal from Steam. From there, you will be kidnapped and taken to Room 101 where secret police will put the Bad Rats mask on you until you have been broken.

5. Recipient needs to be genuinely liked by me. Simply being on my friends list does not necessarily mean that I enjoy your company. My true friends will know who they are, but if I receive a request for the invitation from someone that I do not actually like, I will notify the admins, requesting a contract hit on them and any of their existing relatives, as well as their close personal acquaintances and pets.

6.1. Recipient must post or have already posted in this thread (separately from their request post, which is addressed in 6.2) in addition to notifying me of their request through their request post, in a PM, over Steam Friends, and through my secondary business e-mail address- in that order. Failure to send the required notifications, in the required order, will result in my notifying the admins, requesting that the non-recipient incur a massive hit to their karma.

----6.2. Request posts must be no bigger than 200 characters in length, APA style, 12 point Papyrus font. The purpose of the request post is to tell me why you feel you deserve the invitation- sell yourself. I'm looking for a unique voice and creativity, but don't go crazy with is, be succinct and DON'T SUCK UP- I know you've been a Hellboy fan for a long time, you don't need to tell me. Failure to meet the following standards (for example, using MLA style instead of APA) will result in my burying the invitation underneath a big W and holding an utterly hilarious, madcap scavenger hunt across the world to find it. This is the ONLY instance where you will get a second chance for the invitation, but even that is not a guarantee.

7. After the recipient has received the invitation and activated the Steam Mobile Beta on their smart phone, they must use and appreciate Steam Mobile Beta Access at least 9 hours per 24 hour period (day), but no longer than 17 hours. If the recipient fails to meet the required amount of application/appreciation of the Steam Mobile Beta Access, or exceeds the healthy period of application/appreciation, I will notify the admins, requesting that they remove the recipient's access to the Steam Mobile Beta, and then hold them down and dangle a loogie in their face until either their eventual submission and admission that "Hellboy is the coolest," or until said loogie succumbs to gravity and lands on the recipient's face.


That's it! All pretty cut and dry, just remember that my charity is a privilege- I don't have to be doing this, but I do because I'm a really cool guy with a lot of love to give, not just because I got free stuff.

[Wolsk]

HELLBOY++++++++++++++++++++++

FUCKING ROFL, MAN.

[Killtman]

HELLBOY++++++++++++++++++++++

FUCKING ROFL, MAN.

A+

[pooaw]

Can u giv me tht inv plz my frind rly wnts 1 ktnx

[Wolsk]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
HOLY SHIT THIS APP IS AMAZING.


Oh, and does anyone know how to make Steam on my computer display messages I send on my phone?

[scobywhru]

So when you get into the Mobile Beta you get 1 Mobile Beta Invite. If you have the option I suggest using the steam desktop client beta for windows otherwise the desktop client doesn't see what the messages you send from the mobile client.

[Wolsk]

So when you get into the Mobile Beta you get 1 Mobile Beta Invite. If you have the option I suggest using the steam desktop client beta for windows otherwise the desktop client doesn't see what the messages you send from the mobile client.

Yeah, Scooby, I saw that you said that, but I don't exactly know what you mean by it.
Are you saying that I should use the computer instead of the phone if I have the option?

[scobywhru]

-__- You need the Beta Desktop Steam Client to get them to sync

[Grndslmhttr3]

Am I genuinely liked by the great Hellboy?

[stabbyclaus]

Now if only I had a smart phone...

What the fuck is wrong with you

[Wolsk]

-__- You need the Beta Desktop Steam Client to get them to sync

What is that?... :/

[Hellboy]

Am I genuinely liked by the great Hellboy?

I'll give my invite to you if that's a real question. I do actually have one.

[Grndslmhttr3]

I don't have it on my wishlist

[Hellboy]

The admins have been notified. Nice knowing you.

[Grndslmhttr3]

You son of a bitch.